The invitations you choose for your wedding aren’t just your guests’ first glimpse of the style or theme of your big day, they’re also a crucial logistical element. As a result, it is very important to be aware of the most important wedding invitation etiquette guidelines before sending out your stationery.
Our 2022 Couples Communication Study showed that 62% of soon-to-be-weds share the initial details of their special day via email. this includes crucial information, such as the date and time, as well as indirect details, such as an indication of the level of formality. other essential information, such as hotel block reservations and your registration, can be conveniently hosted on your wedding website.
If you’re just beginning your wedding invitation journey, Knot Invitations offer a variety of designs and colors so you can customize your wedding stationery to reflect your style as a couple. Have you already chosen your favorite design? There are a few questions that may come up as you prepare to officially invite your loved ones to your wedding. Below, we answer the most pressing etiquette questions for your invitations.
1. when should you send your wedding invitations?
When to send wedding invitations is often the first etiquette question couples ask regarding their invitations. Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. that timeline gives guests ample leeway to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if they don’t live in town. If it’s a destination wedding, give guests more time and send three months before the wedding. Most couples also send save-the-date cards so their guests can mark the day on their calendar before getting into the nitty-gritty details. save-the-dates are usually sent six to eight months before the wedding, but can be sent up to a year in advance if you have the details finalized.
2. When should your wedding confirmation be delivered?
Another question that comes up again and again: when should reservations be confirmed for your wedding? As a general rule of thumb, you want your RSVP date to be at least two to three weeks before your wedding date. this should give you enough time to get a final head count for catering (one week in advance) and to finalize your seating plan. our 2022 couples communication study showed that 55% of couples prefer a little more wiggle room, requesting rsvp three to six weeks before the wedding.
If some guests still haven’t responded by your deadline, give them a quick call and ask for their rsvps (still by mail) so you have all your information. Not sure when to start sending your wedding RSVP cards? easy: just assemble them together with your wedding invitations to mail them together.
3. How is the dress code written on wedding invitations?
When it comes to the proper etiquette for wedding invitations, questions about wording are common. Luckily, we’ve covered all the basics in this handy wedding invitation writing guide, including dress code examples. The easiest way to get your point across is to include your desired dress code at the bottom of the invitation or on a separate detail card. “black tie”, “cocktail attire” or “casual dress” are acceptable templates. (and trust us, your guests will appreciate the notice).
If you prefer not to explicitly state the dress code, that’s fine too. instead, the design of the invitation can give guests clues. for example, a traditional invitation with typography and calligraphy hints at a formal event, while an invitation with a fun font and bright colors suits a casual style. Another option is to direct guests to your wedding website, where they can go into detail about the weekend’s events and dress code in a more casual forum.
4. where do you put the return address on your wedding invitations?
It can be tempting to skip this step, but including a return address on wedding invitations is really important. If for some reason an invite isn’t delivered, you won’t end up losing it entirely, and you can contact the invitee directly to update them on the issue and request another address. That way, you don’t risk hurting their feelings when they find out that others received their invitations and wonder why they didn’t get one.
The return address is usually on the back flap of the envelope. Also, the return address used should be that of the person(s) you have designated to receive the reply cards, either yourself or your parents (traditionally, whoever hosts the wedding handles the reply cards). response). It’s also proper wedding RSVP etiquette to include the host’s address and postage on your reply card envelopes. guests should not be expected to fill in this information or pay postage themselves.
5. can you put information on the back of your wedding invitations?
It’s usually best to include details that don’t fit your wedding invitation on a separate detail card rather than on the back of the invitation. the main reason is that guests may miss out on important information simply by not delivering the invitation. You also don’t want to clutter your invitations with too much detail (on the front or back), as this will take away from the main design of your stationery. insert cards can help achieve a cleaner or more organized look.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t make the most of the space on your wedding invitations. many couples choose to include a monogram, custom wedding logo, or other unique design element on the back.
6. What time should you put on your wedding invitations?
Strategically putting a time earlier on wedding invitations than the actual start time of the ceremony isn’t a new idea, but that doesn’t make it a good idea. guests usually arrive on time (in fact, early!) for a wedding ceremony. By putting a fake start time on your wedding invitations, your loved ones could end up waiting much longer than necessary for you and your spouse-to-be to arrive.
There’s also no need to include additional start times on your wedding invitations (think: cocktail hour and reception). If all the events take place on the same day in the same place, it is enough to indicate “reception to follow”. if your reception is at a different location, you may include the location under the ceremony details or on a separate reception card based on space available. For packed wedding weekends, it’s a good idea to have separate itinerary cards with the respective date, time, and location of each event. these can be sent with your wedding invitations or included in your wedding welcome bags.
7. where do you put the information about your wedding website?
There are some places where you can include your wedding website without breaking any rules of etiquette. A simple “taylorandpayton.com” in your save the date is a great way to let guests know from the start that you have a wedding website. You can also include your wedding URL on an insert card in your invitation set (just make sure you don’t print it on your actual wedding invitations). If you got your stationery from knot invitations, you can set up a knot wedding website to match. that way your loved ones will get a cohesive design experience before your big day.
8. should you include your registration information on your invitations?
Including registration information on your wedding invitations or saving the dates is considered impolite because it can give the impression that you are asking guests for gifts directly. So how exactly do you let your loved ones know about your wedding wish list? Go ahead and put your registry details directly on your wedding website (Knot’s all-in-one registry allows you to include links to all the venues you’re registered with).
Not planning to set up a personal website? it’s totally fine to include information about where you’re registered on your bachelorette party invitations or spread the news by word of mouth. your parents, the wedding party, and other close friends will be able to fill the guests without breaking traditional wedding invitation etiquette.
9. Do you have to give each guest a plus-one?
There are some simple tag guidelines to assign more that will make your job a bit easier. First things first, know that you definitely don’t have to give every guest a plus-one. If you’re not married or in a serious relationship, it’s perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invitation. most of your loved ones will understand that without “and invited” or another name on the invitation, they are not invited with a companion.
While it’s always nice to invite everyone with one guest, that can add up quickly (in terms of number of employees and cost). If a guest books for two, give them a call and explain that he is trying to be diligent with his guest list and unfortunately he was not able to invite all the guests. If you find that almost everyone will be in a couple, you may want to extend a plus-one invite to your few single friends and family.
10. how do you make it clear that you are having an adults only wedding?
having an adults only wedding? Please note that it is not considered proper etiquette to print this detail directly onto the invitation. instead, the easiest way to make it clear to guests is to be intentional about how you approach your wedding invitations. Indicating each guest by her name (not “and guest” or “family”) should make it clear that the invitation is for those mentioned only.
If you find that some guests respond with their children’s names added, call them and explain that you’re having an adults-only wedding and hope they can still attend. If there are many children in your family, you may want to consider hiring or arranging for a babysitter. It’s definitely not required, but it’s a nice gesture. If you arrange childcare, be sure to include this information on the wedding website.
11. Is it okay to invite people alone to the ceremony or reception?
Having a small, intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception is becoming increasingly popular with soon-to-be-weds. Today, it’s totally acceptable to keep your ceremony guest list small and invite additional guests to just the reception. just make sure the wording on your invitation is clear so your loved ones know what to expect.
Inviting guests only to the ceremony (and not to the reception) is a much more complicated situation. standard etiquette dictates that everyone who attends the ceremony (or bridal shower or engagement party) must be invited to the wedding reception. By inviting guests to the ceremony and not the reception, you could send the message that you don’t want to pay for their plate at your party, or that you don’t care enough to have them there to celebrate your newlywed status.
12. If you invited a guest and her significant other by her name, but they recently separated, can the guest bring someone else in her place?
Bottom line: If you’ve worded the invitation with your partner’s name on the envelope (instead of “and invited”), you have every right to say no to a new companion. As a general rule, invitations are non-transferable when people are invited by name. this can help avoid the situation where a guest brings someone she doesn’t know or isn’t particularly friendly with. Or maybe there’s someone else who didn’t make the original guest list that you’d like to extend an invite to instead. (If you’re doing this, try not to make the new invitee feel like they’re on the b-list. It’s a good idea to explain the situation carefully, especially if you’re getting a last-minute invite.)
As for the solo guest, if you’ve invited all of your single, walk-in friends, let them know they won’t be the only ones (in case that’s your concern). on the other hand, if the invitation was addressed with “and guest” instead of specifying their plus one by their name, they are generally free to bring whoever they want.
13. Do you have to invite someone who invited you to their wedding?
There are a lot of unwritten rules when it comes to the correct wedding etiquette for your invitations. When deciding on the guest list, it’s normal to be on the fence about some people, especially if you were invited to their wedding but don’t feel so close anymore. Ultimately, you’re not obligated to reciprocate, but if they’re still a close friend you see or talk to regularly, or your wedding just happened, it’s a nice gesture to leave them a spot on your guest list. If your wedding was a long time ago and the nature of your relationship has changed since then, it’s perfectly fine not to invite them. just be mindful of how they find out the news: if you’re still friends, it’s a good idea to politely let them know you’re not invited to the wedding.
14. Is it ever acceptable to uninvite a guest to your wedding?
Not inviting a guest to your wedding is not something to be taken lightly and is generally not recommended unless absolutely necessary. In any case, it’s not good etiquette to uninvite guests, whether it’s because of a change of venue, problems with your budget, or a disagreement. if you’ve fallen out with a particular guest, revoking your invitation is likely to make the situation worse (and you definitely don’t need that stress before your wedding day). it will also make your friendship harder to salvage, regardless of what caused the disagreement in the first place. discuss the matter with her fiancé, and if you both agree that not inviting the guest is the only reasonable course of action, contact the guest directly to explain. Preferably, this should be a face-to-face conversation.