At first, I thought mail-order spouses could be like male exotic dancers: we all know they exist; they are simply less common than women in the same situation. however, my research on the mail order husband trade showed that it is practically non-existent in the commercial realm. There are no real authoritative websites offering mail-order husbands to American and European women, although men in Western countries can choose from seemingly endless catalogs of potential brides. You’ll find prank message board posts and even a fake website called www.mailorderhusbands.net, but nothing serious offering “legitimate” mail order husbands. Nothing, that is, with one peculiar exception: Ukraine-based marriage agency Golden Boys. what makes it unusual? is exclusively for gay men.
Although it never occurred to me when I first curiously searched for mail-husband websites, there is a small industry based on matching lonely gay men in more progressive countries with Ukrainian men who are essentially looking for husbands abroad. Claiming to have facilitated over 650 happy same-sex couples and registered marriages since 1991 (when homosexuality was decriminalized in Ukraine), Golden Boys provides photos and details about Ukrainian gay men seeking a partner. According to Iosif Gorodetsky, president of the Golden Boys gay marriage agency, Ukrainian husband hopefuls are only available to men from the EU, the US, Canada, Israel, Australia and other gay-friendly countries.
Oddly committed, I checked the English version of their website at www.geocities.com/russiaboys, where they list only Ukrainian men who want to go abroad as mail-order spouses. (apparently they also have a dating service within ukraine, but that is not available on this site in english). I saw 48 men, most in their 20s and some already divorced, listed with very basic photos and profiles. once you’re ready to place your “order” (what a creepy word!) you can select which men you want to correspond with and whether you want to send them gifts or send them to English school at night. if you develop a connection with one of the prospective spouses by mail, the agency arranges a meeting between you and your new partner in kyiv. The sensibility of this website is a bit unsettling, though not too different from what you’d see on mail-order bride websites. I wondered how immigration details would be arranged in countries without legal same-sex marriage, but I wasn’t willing to investigate.
Aside from this gay-oriented site (which obviously won’t work for straight women), there’s no trace of a commercial mail order husband industry. i found some strange comments on blogs and message board posts from serious looking straight men in places like russia lamenting this gap in the international market. Apparently, the demand among Western women for husbands from abroad is minimal, or women seeking foreign husbands don’t want the mail-order type. Regardless, if you’re a straight woman looking for a direct mail husband from somewhere like Eastern Europe, you’ll have to do the legwork yourself via personals, chat rooms, and message boards!